Laws and Such

I'm a big fan of Battlestar Galactica. This makes me an expert on a lot of things. Among them: sexy ladies who are actually evil double-agent robots, archaic future technology as a means of defense against a superior enemy, lazy writing, the concept of deus ex fucking machina and, of course, Science.

Which is why I'm utterly baffled by my house's ability to violate the laws of thermo-dynamics and maybe physics and stuff. You see, my house is three stories stacked right on top of each other. Here is a rendering done in MsPaint:

One would think that the top floor of said house would be the warmest room in the house since heat rises and all that.

False!

After a few ridiculous PGW bills, I started rationing my heat. (Side note, don't bother calling those geniuses to rage about your bill. you will not get a satisfying answer.) It was after turning the old thermostat down that I started to notice a disturbing trend: the room that should have been the warmest was actually the coldest. Clearly my house sits in some weird vortex where up is down and down is up and white is black and conservatism is a rational and reasoned approach to life.

I needed help. I was gonna call this lady:



But she just died. My next thought was to ring up Penn and try to get a thermo dynamic physicist on the horn. But, that would have required picking up the phone and making a call and trying to explain the scientific anomaly of my house. That was way too much work, so I just got a space heater.